Sydney

How ya goin'?  We must be in the land of Aus.  It's been 26 years since we first visited here and we both wish we could stay longer.  It has been a jam-packed two days in Sydney.  We could not ask for a  better location for our accommodation.   From our balcony we look directly across to the Sydney Opera House and  behind is the Harbour Bridge.  
For our first day we purchased a city  rail pass and headed to the Blue Mountains, which is a two-hour train ride out of Sydney.  They are called the Blue Mountains because of the blue haze in the air, which results from Rayleigh scattering of sunlight by the very small particles of vapor emitted by the abundant Eucalyptus trees.   On our day there it was cloudy with periods of rain so it was grey instead of blue; but what better way to experience the rain forest in the Jamison Valley?  We took a hop-on hop-off bus that was included with our train ticket.  The view from Echo  Point was brilliant, overlooking a rock formation called the three sisters and the cliffs bordering the Jamison Valley, as well as giving nice views of more distant mountains. We toured around on the bus and got off at the Skyway which is a tram with a glass floor that takes you across a small valley to the cable car and Funiclar Railway.  We took the cable car to the valley floor.  The valley has three paths on boardwalks of 10, 30 and 50 minute duration and we took them all. A sculpure exhibition was held along one of the walks which provided for some good and not so good art on the forest floor.  I liked the piece which was a giant sale tag on a gum tree that said "Complete dining room set $299."   While we walked these paths, the rain started to get fairly heavy and persistent.  At the conclusion of our walk, we took the funicular railway back up.  It is the steepest railway in the world with a grade of 52 degrees in some places.  I was glad we took it going on the upward journey because it would have been really scary going down!   By the time we left the valley floor the area was completely socked in with mist and rain which did not make for the best hiking conditions so we opted to visit the village of Leura before taking the train back to Sydney.    
We spent the evening walking around the area in Sydney known as the Rocks.  The Rocks is a trendy area of shops, restaurants and pubs around Sydney Harbour and the Harbour Bridge.  While we were under the bridge we saw people with headlights doing the night bridge climb tour.  For around $225 you can climb the Harbour Bridge.  It is very popular and they do a roaring business. We saw about 30 people climbing that night and the next we saw five or six different groups of at least 15 people doing the climb during our 30-minute lunch break.  
On our second day in Sydney, we opted to stay in the city and explore the sites.  For $35 you can get a ticket for the hop-on hop-off bus, which does a 90-minute loop around the city, along with commentary, but we chose to walk.  We began the day at the Royal Botanical Gardens which, when it was designed, contained more than 3000 species of plants.  These gardens are spectacular with fountains and ponds, interesting birds and lovely gardens such as the rose gardens, the herb gardens,  the palm gardens, tropical gardens and the begonia gardens.  It was at the begonia gardens that we found these massive spiders that build webs that are 3D in shape.  The webs are about 1/2 meter in size.  One of the gardeners saw us observing these spiders and told us that these spiders were brought into space on one of the shuttle missions to see if they could build their webs in micro-gravity conditions.  Apparently, the spiders had no difficulty adapting to the lower gravity, building webs that are more symmetrical than the webs they build in the gravity of Earth.  
While we stared at the web we caught movement in a tree overhead and saw that two of the nearby trees were full of very large fruit bats suspended from the branches.  When they occasionally roused from their slumber to spread their wings, these bats showed wing spans of about a metre.  The gardener told us that they are considered an endangered species and are protected, but their numbers are rapidly increasing and there is some talk of trying, once again, to control them as they seem to be regarded as something of a pest.  Later that night as we sat on our balcony waiting for the sail away, we saw scores of these bats leaving the park and heading across the Harbour to feed. 
After the botanical gardens we walked to Hyde Park and then the two big neo-gothic cathedrals: St. Mary's Catholic Cathedral and St. Andrew's Anglican Cathedral.  Next we hiked to Darling Harbour which is another upscale area with shops and restaurants and a lovely Chinese Garden which had some outstanding Bonsai trees.  You can dress up if you wish in Oriental costume as you walk the gardens to get into the spirit of the gardens and enjoy tea at the tea house.  After the Chinese Gardens, we walked to the aquarium which, while interesting, was not nearly as good as the Ocean Centre in Maui.  As the Cel remarked: "That was all right, but the Maui Ocean Center blows it out of the water, so to speak."  
Then, after stopping for supplies, we headed back to the ship.  Everyday items proved to be rather expensive: nail polish remover $5.95; deodorant $6.29 Australian (1 AUD = 1.06 CAD.)  The other interesting tidbit is that pennies are apparently no longer used because after the cash register indicated the total of our purchases, it then rounded the total to the nearest 5 cents.  
Next we sail along inside the Great Barrier Reef to Cairns.

Cruise tip: if you want to go the the Blue Mountains from Sydney go to the city transit office and buy a Blue Mountain day pass for about $50.  This will give you a ticket to Central Station, a train ticket to the Blue Mountains in Katoomba, and a ticket for the hop-on hop-off bus.  Then buy a $25 ticket from your hop-on hop-off bus driver to take the Skyway, Skytram and Train into the valley.  Plan on an all day experience.  

Cruise tip 2:  buy your Sydney aquarium tickets online and if you go later in the day it is 1/2 price which appeared to us to be an appropriate value versus the full $35 entry fee you pay at the door.

Pictures from Australia

Burnie Birds

Sunset leaving Burnie


Sailing into Sydney


Didgeridoo Dude


Artwork


Caption not Required


View from our Balcony

Spider


Fruit Bats

Burnie

It was 20 degrees this morning when we arrived in Burnie, with clear blue skies!  You can tell this is a lumber town by the amount of pulp and paper at the ports getting ready to be shipped.  Burnie is a small port with a population of about 19,000.  The buildings in town reflect an art deco feel. When we exited the ship we were greeted by the mayor who was dressed in full regalia, which must have gotten a bit warm.  It is a great community as evidenced by all the volunteers who met the ship and were at the tourist centre.  Everyone in the town was very friendly.  Prior to leaving the ship we needed to go through customs and it was reminiscent of being at the airport with long queues and stern looking customs officials.  Once ashore if you had not chosen a tour you were taken to the town by shuttle bus which dropped you off at the first stop of the tourist information centre alongside a beautiful boardwalk that followed the beach.  During our travels we saw the ships photographerwho travels the town on roller blades to capture video and photos. We wandered around the town and then found a delightful city park called Burnie park.  This park on the hillside had walks leading to a waterfall and past flower gardens  that were just past their prime.  The roses were still lovely but the rhododendrons were already wilting, which made us glad that we did not shell out the $30 for a cab ride to the rhododendron gardens.  After buying  a Ukulele song book we found a pub where we tasted Tasmanian beer prior to returning to the bus headed for the ship.  When we arrived back at the ship the security officer welcomed us back home which made me the think that, yes this did seem somewhat like home,at least for now and a few months more. 

Cruise tip:  the town provides a free shuttle and at this port you are not allowed to leave the port unless you are in a bus.  Total time to walk the town centre was about 20 minutes.  
The Cel's cruise tip: Boag's (pronounced bogs) Draught is an excellent beer.

Sea day on the Tasman Sea

It is amazing how fast a sea day goes by and the pleasant surprises that can occur that you do not expect.  Today was a blustery cool day which made the walk around the decks even more trying but before you know it you have spent two hours doing physical activity and that includes pathetic attempts at ping pong.  This level of physical activity will be difficult to continue at home due to the numerous distractions that seem to be present at home but missing on the ship (like work for example).  Yesterday was also a blustery day; you could see your breath and I would have sworn for a moment I saw snow.   Today I had no time for lunch because I wanted to do the free betting at horse racing (at which I won nothing), followed by a port talk on Sydney (where we learned that we could get to the Blue Mountains by taking a train for $20 versus the $279 ship tour), followed by a wine tasting of New Zealand and Australian wines, followed by a wonderful piano recital featuring classical music and the music of Gershwin.  The music reminds me of the evenings I spend with my mom at the symphony.  The music director's talent is absolutely amazing and his recitals are a delightful surprise on this cruise.  The celebrity on this portion of the cruise is 80-year-old Gavin McLeod, who appeared on the Mary Tyler Moore show and portrayed the captain of the Love Boat, a role which won him the honor of being the spokesperson for Princess Cruises. He seems to pop up at every event.  But the Cel and I are both more interested in listening to the astronaut.  With so much to do and enjoy, it doesn't much matter that the weather is cool and windy.  We had another surprise yesterday when the Cel won a lithograph at the art auction.  After making our choice from the lithographs, we got a phone call later to say that the piece we had chosen was no longer available.  So we had to go back to the gallery and make another choice and, as it happens, the only available item we liked was by an artist with the coincidental name of Carol Bergman ( yes, we chose the picture before we learned the name, but the name cinched the deal).  

Cruise tip: If possible travel on a ship that has an independent port lecturer.  As you can see they can save you hundreds of dollars on your independent excursions.

Pictures from New Zealand

Strange public bathroom










Waterfalls in Milford Sound












Strange public bathroom











Auckland











Milford Sound

Fiordland National Park

Today we are cruising through scenic Fiordland National Park.  We will be entering four sounds: Milford Sound, Thompson Sound, which leads into Doubtful Sound, and finally Dusky Sound.  All of these were named by Captain James Cook and his crew when they explored this region in the 1770s.
It is a cloudy, rainy, misty morning as we enter Milford Sound. There is only one word to describe the scenery: stunning.  Last night it started raining and it continued to pour throughout our journey in and out of Milford sound.  While you would suppose that this would spoil the scene, in fact it enhanced it because, though the tops of the mountains were often shrouded in mist and clouds, the rains have produced absolutely magnificent waterfalls.  The waterfalls are everywhere, flowing down massive sheer granite rock faces, some of which rise several thousand feet above the level of the sea.  I have never seen so many waterfalls coming from such massive heights in such volume.  It makes the wall of falls in Jasper National Park minuscule by comparison.  The mountains in the fiords reach elevations of over 4000 feet and the waterfalls begin right from the top.  This area is the most beautiful I have seen in New Zealand.  In addition to the wonderful scenery, the waterway is full of sea life in the form of sea lions, seals and dolphins and multiple types of birds.  As we traverse to Thompson Sound in the Tasman Sea we pass humpback whales.
Thompson Sound is also shrouded in mist but now an occasional shaft of sunlight breaks through the cloud cover.  The mountains in this sound are more rounded in contrast to the sheer cliff faces of Milford Sound and the waterfalls are less prominent but still fantastic.  Thompson Sound is one of the most seismically active locations in NZ and in 2001 it was the epicenter of a 6.1 earthquake.  After Thompson Sound we enter Doubtful Sound named by Captain Cook after he had doubts about the ability of his ship to exit the sound.  These two sounds are only accessible by sea as the road network is poor at best.  Doubtful Sound has a number of small rounded islands throughout and has a serene appeal to it. Our final fiord is Dusky Sound which we reach after a foggy jaunt in the Tasman Sea.  I am beginning to get a sense as to why they say the crossing of the Tasman Sea to Australia may be rocky.  
The skies begin to clear at Dusky Sound, so named by Captain Cook because that was the time of day when he first spotted this fiord.  The sound has a length of 26 miles.  A number of the features within the sound were named by Cook and his sailors.  Names include Dentention Cove, a place where the ship was stranded due to lack of wind, Goose Cove, where Cook's men released some geese, and Ducks Cove, which was given the name due to the fact that they shot 14 ducks at that location.  This sound has the fewest waterfalls but the verdant islands and seabirds make for a great day viewing the scenery. As we exit Dusky Cove to transit the Tasman Sea to Burnie, Tasmania, we reach the southernmost point in our journey at 45 degrees 48 minutes south latitude.    Our goal is to post some more photos when we get to Burnie.

Sea terms:
Fathom: is a nautical measurement coming from old English word " faedm" which means to embrace and is 6 feet in length. It is so named because its original measure was the distance between the fingertips of a man's outstretched arms.  Burials at sea are conducted at a depth of 6 fathoms (as opposed to 6 feet on land). and it is from this we get the expression to "deep six" something.

Auckland New Zealand or "The City of Sails"

Another glorious day down in the Southern Hemisphere. It is sunny and the temperature is about 20 degrees.  A great day for walking.  Auckland is commonly referred to as the "city of Sails" as the harbour is flanked by hundreds of yachts.  Once the ship docked we were off.  First stop Sky Tower.  The tower is 328 meters high.  The high-speed elevator, which travels at 18 kilometres per hour, takes 40 seconds to get you to the main observation level at a height of 186 metres (610 feet).  A second high speed lift takes you to the Sky Deck, which is at 220 metres (722 feet).  The admission cost is $28 and it is well worth the price.  The views at the top are spectacular.  You can see as far as 80 kilometers on a clear day, which we were fortunate to experience.   Below the Sky Deck at 194 metres is the observatory buffet restaurant.  This is also the level where you can do a controlled 'base jump' that gets you to the bulls-eye target on the ground in 11 seconds!  The cost of the Sky Jump is $225.  Alternatively, for a similar price you may do the Sky Walk, where you walk completely around the outside of a tower on a 1.2 meter-wide platform.  Of course, you are connected to a safety tether during the walk.  We opted to stay inside and walk over the glass floors, which give you  pause prior to taking the first step.  
From the Sky Tower we headed for the Auckland Domain a huge park in the centre of town.  We stopped to watch some cricket and I counted some twenty cricket pitches.   Included in the park are the Winter garden Greenhouses, duck ponds, traditional gardens from the 1800's and a Memorial Museum and cenotaph.  The flowers were in bloom similar to the end of August in Calgary as fall is just around the corner here.  Some of the highlights in the  Museum included; a full sized Maori meeting house, a full size war canoe that seated about a  hundred warriors, Edmund Hillary's ice axe used in his climb of Everest, a full sized Spitfire, Zero and Buzz Bomber aircraft and a room that simulated the effect of a volcano erupting in Auckland as the whole city is built on a dormant volcano.  We collected  a pamphlet on emergency evacuation procedures for volcanos.  It is interesting that they anticipate any future volcanic eruption to be beneath the sea, so the warning sign of a pending eruption would include a region of warming ocean that would kill many fish and other marine life and eventually actually start to boil and give off steam. 
From the Domain we trekked across the University of Auckland, a lovely campus, to Albert Park, which was designed to commemorate Queen Victoria and is a traditional English formal garden.  From there we checked in at an internet cafe on the main retail street of Auckland, called Queen Street.  After catching up with emails, we went to the Auckland Art Gallery, Toi O Tamaka.  One of our favorite pieces was the uniquely-shaped bench that twisted and turned in all manner of directions for the entire length of the sculpture terrace.  It was fun to try and sit on some of the weirdly angled sections of this sculpture!  After walking for over six hours, it was time to use up the rest of our New Zealand  money and what better way than tasting the local Pilsners on a delightful terrace overlooking the harbor.  Mmmm good!  Then back to the ship for dinner where the Cel had scallops in a shell and I had Wahoo.  For those unfamiliar with Wahoo it is a fish similar to a tuna steak.

Cruise tip: Although for $40 you can get a day pass for the hop-on hop-off bus, we recommend that you put on your walking shoes and get ready to explore.  Must sees are the Skytower, the Auckland Domain, the War Memorial Museum and the art gallery. The entry to the War Memorial museum is only $10 and the art gallery is free.  Of course, there are several other museums and attractions that would be worthwhile, such as the Maritime Museum, and Kelly Tarlton's Undersea World and Antarctic exhibit, but there is only so much time in the day.

Bay of Islands New Zealand

Thanks to cyclone Jasmine our port of call is the Bay of Islands New Zealand versus Tonga. The region is often called "the land of a thousand beaches" and it is a region I would love to come back to and explore some more.  After 26 years we made it back to NZ.  Originally we were going to go sea kayaking in an estuary to some falls, but when we went to the port lecture the other day, we learned that we would be kayaking through a mangrove forest, but after recalling our Mangrove experiences in Cuba and Florida and remembering the bugs we opted for a tour that took us to the Kawiti Glowworm caves and Puketi Kauri Forest.  Our tour lasted most of the day and showed us a great deal of the New Zealand countryside, lots of sheep and cattle.  We did a short hike in the Puketi Kauri forest which is one of the few remaining Kauri forests in New Zealand.  The trees are up to 1200 years old and have a 12 to 15-foot diameter.  Ten houses can be built from one tree.  After the Kauri forest, we stopped in a small town of Kaikohe which has some of the most unique public washrooms I have ever seen.  Then we headed to the Kawiti Glow-worm caves.  Fantastic.  Glow worms can only be found in New Zealand and Australia and reside in caves.  Glow-worms live up to 11 months and grow up to a maximum of 40mm.  They are as thin as sewing needles and have a blue/green tail light that increases in luminosity when they are hungry.    When the guides turn off the lanterns, the roof of the cave is lit up like the night sky with seemingly millions of lights everywhere.   The glow-worms do such a respectable impression of the night sky that they call one cavern the Milky Way cave.   After the caves we headed back to Paihia to gather local supplies of Waikato Draught beer and Tui east India pale ale.   Nice to have when you are thirsty but not any beers that I would repurchase.  Looking forward to Aussie beer.


Cruise tip:  if you land in Paihia the town offers a free shuttle from the ship.  See the countryside it is well worth it.  The town is more of a beach resort town.

The Taxonomy of Shipboard Creatures – Part 7

Alas, dear readers, it is time to wrap up this exercise with a noteworthy species indeed.

Misanthropes: These appallingly unfriendly creatures are, happily, remarkably elusive.  Indeed, we have only been able to positively identify two of them on board this ship.  They usually prefer to remain cloistered within their stateroom and balcony with the Privacy Please sign stuck in the door.  They rarely venture forth, emerging only occasionally to dine and sometimes to observe and make notes about the appearance and behaviour of others aboard the ship.  They do this with an air of academic disdain, leaving one with the impression that they are classifying their fellow passengers into groups for some bizarre taxonomy scheme.  When invited to join others for an occasional game of trivia or at a dining table, misanthropes invariably refuse, preferring their own company.  Misanthropes naturally project a certain arrogance that usually prevents others from approaching.  Consequently, when misanthropes dine in the formal dining room, a twenty-yard radius of empty tables typically surrounds them; the tables may have been full on day one but by day 3 all have left their vicinity.  Even the waiters approach their table only fleetingly.  Misanthropes are easy to identify when they venture cautiously from their staterooms because their pockets bulge with bottles of hand sanitizer that they perpetually use whenever they find themselves within ten feet of another passenger.  Occasionally the male of this species can be spotted spraying himself with free samples of the various colognes available for sale in the onboard shop, thereby confirming the long-held belief that misanthropes are not only antisocial, but cheap as well.

The Taxonomy of Shipboard Creatures – Part 6

Belugas: This species prefers aquatic environments such as the pool and the hot tub.  They are characterized by a HUGE displacement of water upon entry into their usual habitat.  If by some bizarre circumstance you fail to see the entry splashdown of these creatures, you can usually identify them by their huge rounded masses of variable-colored blubber protruding above the surface of the water.  Their colors include such unmistakable shades as pasty white, lobster red, volcanic-ash grey, mole brown, and varicose-vein blue.  Not infrequently, this stunning palette of color can be found on a single specimen!  Subspecies of the Belugas include: Men who should wear shirts; Men who should NOT wear Speedos; and Women who should wear burkas.  One always knows when elderly Belugas have made an appearance because that is when the pool boy arrives with water-testing chemistry.

Dravuni Island

Fiji is comprised of 322 islands, 106 of which are inhabited. Dravuni Island has a population of 150-200 people and is located near the Great Astrolobe Reef which is the fourth largest reef in the world.  The island is quite small.  One can walk across it in a matter of ten minutes.  It can easily be circumnavigated on foot in a few hours.  
We are visiting the island during the rainy season but the day we were there was sunny throughout. The ship arrived late due to rough seas and then we were further delayed because the pontoon dock to which we were to tender was damaged by heavy swells last night and needed to be repaired before the captain would allow passengers to go ashore.  As we waited for the repairs to proceed and clearance to go ashore, we learned that Cyclone Jasmine is directly between our current position and our next port of call, which is Tonga.  Consequently, our stop in Tonga has been cancelled and we will now have three sea days before arriving at our substitute port of call, the Bay of Islands in New Zealand.  We had been struggling to decide what to do on Tonga, since there is not much to see or do, apparently ( we won't mention, except parenthetically, that Tonga is one of the places in the world where cannibalism was widely practiced!), so the change is welcome.  However, it does mean that, with three more sea days in store, the Cel and I will have to do some additional research for our taxonomy, unless we receive sufficient comments to cease our critical appraisal of our fellow passengers (so here's your chance to shut us up!)  
We did finally get to Dravuni Island at about 11 AM.  It is gorgeous.    We started by hiking through the jungle to the highest point on the island, which is 137 feet above sea level.  It was a very hot 137 feet but a great hike, despite the mud, ankle grabbing vines across the path, an occasional coconut blown down from the top of the trees, and one almost total knockdown of the Cel when I nearly did a header into the mud.  Great views were available at the top.  When we got back to the beach, we found that, due to the choppy waves and offshore wind, no doubt a spinoff of the nearby cyclone, the surf contained lots of debris which made swimming less enticing.  A few people also got stung by some jellyfish.  Nevertheless, we did venture into the water and enjoyed the bathwater temperature of the South Pacific ocean.  
The islanders all have booths offering total body massages.  Given our obvious love of humanity, we declined.  We did, however, watch their presentation of traditional music and several of the warrior dances, which were very entertaining.  As we have found at other islands the natives are extremely friendly.   Hard to imagine that our presence quadrupled the population of the island. Calmer seas would have made snorkeling more fun but all in all it was a great place to visit.  The worst point today was seeing the mile long crack on a rather rotund individual as we exited the tender.  The stuff of nightmares.    Well it is island beer time and since tomorrow is a sea day it will be time for another taxonomy session; maybe we'll introduce crackers!

No tip for today so here is a sea term definition as provided by our navigator.

Sea terms :
Son of a gun:  this term was used in the 17th and 18th century, and was given to babies born on board  naval ships whilst they were at sea.  This was because between the canons on the gun deck was one of the few places on board where some privacy may be afforded to a woman giving birth.

The Taxonomy of Shipboard Creatures – Part 5

It being another sea day, it is time to resume our taxonomy.

Fashionistas: This group are notable for their attire.  A large subgroup among the Fashionistas is composed of those who like to prance about in the robes and slippers that bear the cruise line’s logo.  Though meant for lounging about in one’s stateroom, this apparel is so alluring and enticing to Fashionistas that they take every opportunity to wear it in the most public places on the ship, especially the morning buffet queue.  Perhaps they do this as a public service to those gaining too much weight on the cruise, because seeing these robed, haggard vestibules of morning breath quickly vanquishes hunger pangs and markedly reduces the desire to break one’s fast.  If you happen to be so unfortunate as to behold one of these robed brutes bellying up to the buffet after completing your breakfast, you may well suffer a bout of bulimia.    

During formal nights Fashionistas are easily distinguished by their tight leather mini-skirts that make them look as though they burrowed their way into a length of electrical shrink tubing and then accidentally rolled past a hair dryer.  Perhaps the most remarkable ensemble we were horrified to witness traipsing down the runway toward the dining room was propped upon suede purple stiletto heels with roman gladiator wraps winding up and accenting cellulite-tessellated legs before disappearing behind a fire-hose yellow-colored vinyl dress with reinforced seams.  This gruesome medley of color and textiles was accessorized with a short faux leather jacket that bore a vague greenish hue as well as 2-inch long crimson feather earrings extruding from beneath a bountiful clump of platinum curls in the form of a Dolly Parton wig.  Why, it’s enough to make one wig out!

Pago Pago

Our arrival is in the bay of Tutuila which is in the centre of the island and was formed as a result of a collapsing volcanic caldera.  The climate is hot and humid, just the kind of weather you love in February.  The location is at 14 degrees south latitude and because the Sun happens to be at a declination today of -14 degrees, at 12:36 PM today the Sun was directly overhead and our shadows had no length which was kind of cool.   The Samoan people are really friendly and helpful.  When a young girl noticed that the free email server at MacDonalds was down she logged onto another provider so we could check emails.  Really wonderful people.
One third of the work force here is employed by the government with another third in the service industry.  Land can only be owned by fully fledged Samoans.The joys of being a US Territory means I guess that the government is the major source of income. The traditional dress for women is a long skirt and for men knee length wrap around skirts.  We mainly saw men in pants but when we walked by the regional high school all the students were wearing white shirts and brightly coloured blue skirts with shorts underneath .  December to April is the rainy season but on our day here it was sunny with a few clouds.  Not a lot to do so we wandered from one end of the town to the other with our key purchase being Vailima, a local lager beer.  Nothing ends the hot day better than a cold 750ml bottle of beer that has an alcohol content of 6.7%.  Then, naturally, it is siesta time.  Never thought I would go to Pago Pago and I cannot imagine coming back again.  A nice place to stop after five sea days but not a lot to see and do. Today is February 10 and tomorrow will be the 12th as we cross the date line.  To bad (or maybe not) for those who have a birthday on Feb 11.   Next stop Fiji.

Cruise tip: It seems that, despite stated policy, you can bring aboard alcohol such as the local beer without having it confiscated at the security entrance.

The Taxonomy of Shipboard Creatures – Part 4

Timothy Leary Dancers: These strange creatures are rare!  They appear as couples and only at special invitational events where free liquor is dispensed.  As soon as they take to the dance floor, it is evident from their gyrations that they were once flower children of the Haight-Ashbury district.  Alas, their blooms have withered.  Each individual of the couple is attired in matching, tie-dyed apparel; she in a narrow floor length frock and he in some form of Nehru jacket.  Festooned with beads and other symbols appropriate to their lost generation, they require the entire dance floor for their ritual courtship dance because they maintain a minimum distance from each other of 15 feet throughout.  While the female of the couple attempts sinuous, arm-waving motions that are partially disrupted by a senescent tremor, she studiously avoids direct eye contact with her male partner.  He, meanwhile, becomes progressively more flamboyant in his efforts to attract her attention, episodically dropping suddenly into a grotesque, contorted, stationary crouch with his arms outstretched in some ghastly entreaty.  After maintaining this pose for what seems like minutes, and which she continues to ignore, he slowly, carefully, and evidently painfully resumes a more erect posture (albeit slightly less erect than that which he enjoyed prior to displaying his impression of Quasimodo).  Witnessing the mating ritual of the Timothy Leary Dancers (whether or not you tuned-in, dropped out, and turned on) is like having a flashback of a bad trip!  One other feature of note with this rare species is that whenever one passes by their stateroom one is struck (nearly dumb) by a strange, pungent fragrance wafting into the corridor from beneath their door. 

The Taxonomy of Shipboard Creatures – Part 3

Cacklers: These creatures can be heard throughout the ship from wherever in the ship you may happen to be.  They are always found in clusters wherein they compete with one another to see which of them can produce the loudest, shrillest, and most obnoxious noise possible.  They spend the majority of their lives on ships because whenever they find themselves on land their sound apparently attracts dogs and hounds of every description.  It is impossible to control Cacklers—one’s only recourse is to leave their immediate vicinity in order to decrease their effect or insert ear plugs.  To diminish the annoyance of Cacklers, avoid all bars and lounges, which are prime Cackler habitat.

Caterwaulers: This species, which is sometimes confused with Cacklers (indeed, we suspect some cross-species interbreeding may occur) can always be found at Karaoke night or at choir practice.  They are characterised by their self-satisfied smiles and the emanation of strange noises occasionally, though not always, accompanied by music that, thankfully, is furnished by a musician or electronic device.  Regrettably, the sounds produced by Caterwaulers are usually in direct opposition to the accompanying music.  Once a Caterwauler has begun its song, there is little one can do to shut it up.  Polite applause is a particularly dangerous tactic to employ since this may encourage them to carry on for endless hours and at ever-increasing volume levels.  Rude heckling is also powerless to stifle a Caterwauler’s bellow.  They simply disregard the minor intrusion or, when desperate, will even attempt to harmonize with the catcalls. 

The Taxonomy of Shipboard Creatures – Part 2

To begin, the Cel would like to forestall any speculation or rumor that this project is meant only to fend off boredom during sea days.  Nothing could be further from the truth.  There is no end to the fascinating observations one can make of the behaviour, rituals, and characteristics of shipboard creatures.  So, with that out of the way, let us introduce another wonder of Cel and Cia’s amazing above-sea (this is not a Costa ship) world.

Shufflers: Though resembling Blockers, Shufflers are a distinct group characterized by being incapable of managing strides longer than about two inches.  Their habitat is broad-ranging.  They can be found nearly anywhere on the ship (usually for hours at a time).  We initially thought that there might be two subspecies of Shufflers, those that move their feet quite quickly, and those displaying a more languid gait.  But after much study and discussion, because neither variety manages to actually cover distance any more effectively than the other, we have decided to lump them together, so to speak.  All Shufflers have a slightly stooped posture.  Despite this, they never look at their feet, however much their posture might impel them to do so.  Their gaze is unwaveringly parallel to the horizontal.  A final startling, and perhaps defining, characteristic of Shufflers is their tendency to non-conformity.  Like a rebellious fish in a school or a wayward starling in a swarm, when Shufflers are seen to be actually making way (to use a nautical phrase), it is invariably directly into and against the more rapid flow of traffic.

The Taxonomy of Shipboard Creatures – Part 1

We have decided to use the multitude of sea days on this voyage to study and classify the abundance of creatures that one is likely to find on a cruise ship.  Today’s blog is the first of a multi-part, documentary featuring Cel and Cia’s taxonomic classification of the varieties of fauna that we have discovered on board.  While the Cel is primarily responsible for identifying the broad phyla and making detailed field observations, Cia, establishes the fine distinctions between the various species and supplies the nomenclature.  We humbly offer this scholarly endeavour simply for your edification and enjoyment; there will be no quizzes or exams.  So, without further delay, let us begin to make some sense of the wild menagerie to be found on a cruise ship by introducing you to a creature you are likely to encounter within moments of boarding your vessel, perhaps even on the gangway.

Blockers: The primary habitat of these monuments of ignorance includes stairwell entrances, doorways, the middle of staircases, narrow corridors, buffet queues, in short, any relatively confined space where traffic is easily congested.  They always appear in pods, rather like whales, which they also often resemble in size and shape.  Blockers have two broad modes of behaviour.  When active, they are characterized by flamboyant gestures meant to fill as much space as possible and they may strike without warning.  When indolent, blockers simply stand stupidly, mimicking a space-occupying lesion.  A defining feature of blockers, whether restive or idle, is that their mouths are in perpetual motion, typically emitting some senseless drivel that, for whatever unfathomable reason, they and their pod mates find immensely absorbing.  Blockers are invariably oblivious of their surroundings and become irate when the crowd of 20 or more people who have been waiting patiently for them to move out of the way express any hint of displeasure with their antics.

Keep following this blog for more informative taxonomy lessons in the coming weeks.  You will learn about Caterwaulers, Belugas, and oh so many other strange organisms!  Until next time...

Hawaiian Islands

We visited two of the Hawaiian Islands: Oahu and Kauai.  Oahu seems much drier than the last time we were there.  Traffic in Honolulu is jammed throughout the day.  After getting our rental car we drove to Diamond Head National Monument and hiked to the summit for amazing views of Waikiki and the coast.  Then we travelled along the windward coast to the north shore beaches with hopes of seeing some serious surf.  All of the beaches had red flags to indicate that swimming was prohibited due to the strong rip currents.  The beaches are gorgeous but the waves were not quite spectacular.  We then drove back to Honolulu, passing by the Dole plantation and acres and acres of pineapple crops. 

The next day, we opted to get a bird’s eye view of Kauai with Blue Hawaiian Helicopters.  It was spectacular as we flew into valleys, through canyons and over mountain tops.  It was a great way to see the island.  After trying to connect with home we spent the remainder of the day on the beach and prepared ourselves for the upcoming five days at sea as we head for Pago Pago.

Cruise Tip: Avoid Enterprise rent-a-car in Honolulu.  We went to three of their locations and the service was atrocious.  Contrary to their ads, they do not pick you up and they give all manner of excuse as to why they cannot drop you off.  They are terribly expensive and tack on all kinds of extra fees,

Cruise Tip: When in Kauai a variety of free shuttles from the ship will take you to various shopping malls.  We recommend the Kmart shuttle since a Starbucks with free Wi-fi is in the neighbouring shopping plaza.  Also, you can stock up on ship supplies (wine, rum, beer, and other vital items) for sea days.

View of Kauai from Helicopter

Fantasy Island Falls -- The plane boss! The plane!

Sea Days

Thought it was time to write about a typical sea day.  You really have the option to do as much or as little that you want.  Traditionally I start the day with a two or three mile walk.  13 times around in the circle is a nautical mile and it tends to be busy on the track between 7:30 to 8:30.   I feel like I am in great shape in that I can still lap people.  The fact that they use walkers, in my mind, gives them an advantage.  After walking, it is time for the morning shower, followed by breakfast.  The selection is amazing with fruit, cereals, omelets, eggs of every variety and a good selection of breads and pastries.  Then you usually have a choice of activities to partake in or not.  For cloudy, cool days there are always shows or movies you can watch in your room.  You can opt to play in ping pong tournaments, attend  lectures on bridge or listen to "scholarship at sea " presentations.  For this segment of the journey they are covering WWII with a focus on battles in the Pacific.  And always they have Bingo and ballroom dance classes.    For those who like to sing you can join the choir.   There are computer classes available, casino games, carpet bowling and shuffleboard.  If you feel lucky you can hit the casino but whenever I walk by I rarely hear the sounds of winning machines and when I have misguidedly put money in these machines, nothing ever comes out.  For artists they offer ceramics classes and drawing classes.  At least twice a day there is trivia as well.   As part of this cruise we have the head chef of Princess cruises who offers culinary classes which are most enjoyable to attend.    I find the best part is sitting on our balcony in the afternoon sun in the peace and quiet.  Our neighbors next door are big Sinatra fans so we sometimes hear the strains of his music.  But we have an agreement that if either side is too loud pounding on the wall means cease and desist.  No problems yet. Lunch can be had in the Buffett or formal dining room.  Each lunch has a theme.  Today was Mexican, yesterday was Italian and the day prior was sushi. Dinner has been spectacular with a wide variety of choices. In the evening music is played throughout the ship in various lounges and there is always a show unless the seas are too rocky. 

Sharing the day with 600+ strangers means that conflict will invariably arise.  So each morning they have the equivalent of a breakfast show to highlight various activities and events of the day.  As the cruise progresses they have added a new segment which I call "providing minds for the mindless".  This segment focuses on rules that need to be created to prevent strife.  Topics have included "walking on the fitness track in an anti clockwise direction" and "no saving seats in the showroom for more than two people.". The theme in this segment has been "use common sense" and "play nice".  My solution is sit on the balcony and avoid them all.

All in all life is good, in fact it is wonderful aboard the Pacific Princess as we cross the Pacific.   

Cruise tip:  if you enjoy working out on the machines avoid the early mornings.  The best time to use the fitness facilities is between 11:30 to 1:00 when everyone is at lunch.