Cacklers: These creatures can be heard throughout the ship from wherever in the ship you may happen to be. They are always found in clusters wherein they compete with one another to see which of them can produce the loudest, shrillest, and most obnoxious noise possible. They spend the majority of their lives on ships because whenever they find themselves on land their sound apparently attracts dogs and hounds of every description. It is impossible to control Cacklers—one’s only recourse is to leave their immediate vicinity in order to decrease their effect or insert ear plugs. To diminish the annoyance of Cacklers, avoid all bars and lounges, which are prime Cackler habitat.
Caterwaulers: This species, which is sometimes confused with Cacklers (indeed, we suspect some cross-species interbreeding may occur) can always be found at Karaoke night or at choir practice. They are characterised by their self-satisfied smiles and the emanation of strange noises occasionally, though not always, accompanied by music that, thankfully, is furnished by a musician or electronic device. Regrettably, the sounds produced by Caterwaulers are usually in direct opposition to the accompanying music. Once a Caterwauler has begun its song, there is little one can do to shut it up. Polite applause is a particularly dangerous tactic to employ since this may encourage them to carry on for endless hours and at ever-increasing volume levels. Rude heckling is also powerless to stifle a Caterwauler’s bellow. They simply disregard the minor intrusion or, when desperate, will even attempt to harmonize with the catcalls.
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